PMQs as-it-happened

11:25 – Good morning. We're fast approaching the summer recess (they've done whole weeks of work now) so you should enjoy PMQs while you can. Soon it will be the long dusty road of summer, with accompanying silly season news and nothing really going on. Maybe we'll get some riots or an Olympics to liven things up a bit. It's hard to guess what Miliband will lead with. There's still plenty of Monty Python-style mockery to be had of the coalition's dodgy promises on infrastructure investment from last week's spending review. Alternately, he might like to try to win some populist support on MPs' pay. That would be unfair of course – it's Ipsa which will propose the rise and it has nothing to do with David Cameron or Nick Clegg, but there's no reason that should stop him. The most interesting bit of party politicking this morning came when Peter Mandelson came out against HS2 – potentially a massive problem for Cameron. But Labour is – for now – sticking with the project. You can sense its support fraying at the edges though. It's unlikely to come up today.

11:49 – We're currently on Wales questions. David Jones, Welsh secretary, is marginally more dismissive than most ministers. He also persistently scratches his neck in a way I find rather unappealing.. I do wish he'd stop.

11:51 – Jones suggests his Labour opponent is struggling to please his bosses in Westminster and Wales with the sort of topical joke: "One man, two guvners."

11:53 – We don't know what Labour will ask yet, but we have a pretty good idea what the planted Tory questions will be about: Unions. Reports about union links among Labour candidates are doing the rounds today. They're entirely unsurprising. They're part of the party's constitution after all. But that won't stop them. Personally, I couldn't care less, but there's always something clammy about the way Tories deliver planted questions.

11:55 – David Jones looks like he's never met anyone he liked.

11:57 – Stephen Crabb, Welsh minister, has one of those tough-and-ready beards you can tell they spend a lot of time on. Jesse Norman (Con, vital) asks something about Welsh purchases from English suppliers which I couldn’t understand, due to my utter lack of interest in Welsh politics. Huw Irranca-Davies (Lab, smoothie) asks another question about procurement, which was improved by his dramatic name and his wonderful posture – hands behind his back, chest out, gazing over the Commons Chamber like it was his kingdom.

12:00 – Everyone's in – Cameron, Miliband, George Osborne, Ed Balls. The latter two haven't started the death stare process yet. They will. Off we go.

12:02 – Charlotte Leslie (Con, Tin Tin) says the NHS needs to have the culture of secrecy stripped out of it. Cameron is looking confident and healthy, although he's already started with the I'm-not-pointing-really thumb out hand motion.

12:03 – Miliband asks about Egypt – are all steps being taken to protect Brits there. A foreign question suggests this will be a non-combative PMQs, although Miliband may choose to split his questions. Cameron gives him assurances. "It is not for this country to support any particular group, we should support democratic process and government by consent."

12:04 – What's Britain and the EU doing? Cameron says direct messages are being sent by ambassadors. They recognise he has a democratic mandate but he must recognise that people have a voice. Interesting. Miliband moves on. The UK needs extra primary school places. Can he promise it won’t be met by increasing class sizes. the noise starts up – statesmanlike bit over.

12:05 – Miliband says class sizes doubled on Cameron's watch. One third of new schools are being built in areas with surplus places. Why?

12:06 – "What he left was the biggest budget deficit in Britain's peacetime history," Cameron replies, predictably. He reels off a list of education accomplishments, which sound frankly shallow. "This is code for Labour's opposition to free schools," Cameron says. "We want good schools, but as ever his questions are written by Len McCLusky of Unite." The Tory MPs love that. Big wave of noise. Miliband: "As always, the PM has no answers to the questions he is asked."

12:09 – "Lets talk about ethics. This is a PM who had dinners for his donors in Downing Street. He invited Andy Coulson into No. 10. The idea he's lecturing us on ethics takes hypocrisy to a whole new level." That was very strong from Miliband and seemingly on the hoof. Cameron suddenly looks uncomfortable.

12:10 – Cameron starts reading from a McClusky statement. "Too weak to sack his health secretary, too weak to stand up to unite union, too weak to run Labour and certainly too weak to run the country." Massive noise in the Commons. A searing exchange.

12:11 – Cameron uses his first non-Miliband question to keep at the McClusky attack. He even does it again for the question which comes afterwards. It's overkill now. Snap verdict on the leaders' exchange: Cameron: 3 Miliband: 2. But Cameron needs to bring the union attacks under control, he looks obsessive and it probably doesn’t have quite the resonance outside the Chamber as it does inside.

12:14 – We are seeing firm evidence now of the discipline which Lynton Crosby has brought to the Tory ranks. They have one message, which they pursue across the benches and relentlessly.

12:15 – Miliband's riposte shows the danger of the Tory attack, however. With banker backers and a tobacco industry lobbyist organising their campaign, the Conservatives have a major vulnerability.

12:16 – Geoffrey Robinson (Lab) asks about RBS, to which Cameron replies: "The honourable gentleman knows a lot about lending money." It is very effective. Osborne particularly enjoys it.

12:17 – Nick Brown (Lab, burst balloon) asks Cameron to appoint a minister to work with local enterprise partnerships for private sector employment… sorry, I faded away. Couldn't maintain concentration.

12:19 – Alan Beith (Con, part of the furniture) asks about apprenticeships. Cameron celebrates his achievements, if indeed they bear any resemblance to fact. Luciana Berger (Lab, bit shrill) asks about infrastructure investment actually being cut. Cameron says she's wrong. "If you oppose changes to welfare and they haven't supported a single cut, then there's no way you can have any capital spending at all." Harriet Baldwin (Con, disastrously yellow) wants confirmation of the treaty with Jordon to get rid of Abu Qatada. Cameron says yep, but doesn’t want to say too much for fear of risking it.

12:21 – Cameron has his mojo on. He’s carrying the benches behind him easily and mostly making small work of critical questions.

12:22 – Cameron would have done better to lay off the McClusky attack once the main exchange was over. He just did it again. Its getting more than a little silly. Maybe he has a crush.

12:24 – Stephen Baker (Con, entirely nondescript) says something about rotary clubs but is drowned out by Commons jeers. "They don't go about hovering up payments from unions," Cameron replies. Dear God, make it stop.

12:25 – Gemma Doyle (Lab, charming) says the work programme is missing all its standards. Cameron suggests the opposite, "even though it's not part of Len McClusky's script". Seriously, he's out of control. There's a question on the spare room subsidy (bedroom tax to you and me) which does not prompt a comment about Len McClusky.

12:29 – Ben Bradshaw (Lab, romantic hero) wants a promise Cameron won;t do a deal with the newspapers to water down Leveson. Cameron says the legal advice is that they have to take the royal charters in order – press first. "I think the press' royal charter has some serious shortcomings," he adds.

12:31 – Richard Drax (Con, an accent as wonderful as his name) says voting irregularities in the Falkirk constituency…. Bercow doesn’t like it. It’s party political and not a matter for the PM. "Complete waste of time," Bercow shouts, dismissing the smartly-dressed gent. Peter Bone (Con, right of Genghis Khan) wants a modern slavery act. He is once again not talking extremist nonsense and therefore upsetting the natural balance. Glenda Jackson has bothered to attend parliament for a change. She asks about an immigration technicality which has made her constituents destitute. I’m sorry I mocked her, it was a good question. Cameron says he'll look at it. He admits immigration rules can prevent women fleeing abusive relationships. Impressive response from the prime minister.

12:34 – And we're done. Well, Cameron had a job to do and he did it. The test of his success will rely on whether the broadcasters carry it. His repeated references to the Unite boss were designed to make sure they couldn't avoid it. My hunch is that even if it does get major play, the public are more critical of bankers than they are of trade unions. Regardless, Cameron arguably hasn't enjoyed a PMQs as much as that for some time and Miliband did look beaten. But the overplay of the McClusky line was tiresome and a little silly. We'll see if we get more of that in the weeks to come. We'll be back on Friday for our live coverage of the debate on the private members bill for an EU referendum. Yeah, I know, a live blog of a private members bill. Strange days. See you then.