Dear George: How Osborne can end our something for nothing culture
George, I understand you plan to end Britain's 'something for nothing culture'. This is excellent news. So in the spirit of the big society, here are three suggestions to help you on your way.
1. Abolish the monarchy.
The royals don't just get something for nothing. They get everything for nothing.
Now I'm not saying they should lose the whole lot. Like other members of Britain's long term unemployed, the Royal family should be entitled to community work placements and mandatory training at their nearest job centre.
But if they refuse to move into productive employment, then all government handouts should be swiftly withdrawn. This is a tough approach, but a fair approach.
2. Introduce a land tax.
Taxpayers spend around £20 billion on housing benefits, more than 10% of the overall welfare bill. The root cause of this is a shortage of housing due to the spiralling cost of land.
Seventy per cent of that land is owned by less than 1% of the population. Much of it is owned by families who have profited from it for hundred of years.
In order to end this something for nothing culture, you should introduce a land tax. This would encourage dormant landowners to bring their land onto the open market, reduce the cost for all and tackle Britain's long term housing crisis.
I understand that David Cameron believes this idea is "nuts," but desperate times call for desperate measures.
3. Ban MPs from second jobs
Being a member of parliament is meant to be a full time job, but many MPs earn more from second, third and even fourth jobs than they do from their supposed main form of employment.
MPs often claim they only spend a few days a year on these roles. If this is true, why are they being paid so much for them?
George, it's time to end this something for nothing culture once and for all. Ban MPs from holding second jobs and move them back into productive work in their constituencies.
Now I know these suggestions may not find immediate favour with you, but time is running out to end Britain's something for nothing culture. I look forward to hearing more in your speech.